remember running through the city

the sounds of footfalls echoing through alleyways

the orange glow of street lights where wood bridge meets cobblestone

the river becomes something like a god to me as she breathes with the cooling night sky to kiss this city in fog

the natural way of giving and receiving

these old exchanges of wisp and water, water and wisp

I never feel alone when I’m running

I never feel tired

I never feel angry, or confused

With each step trotting toward some peace, some soul restfulness, some door that only unlocks as mile after mile opens up beneath my feet.

Ice and glass and grime, what details are these to the infinite pain that lives inside me?

What is suffering to the temerity of chaos and the untouchable fortress of this ecstatic bliss.

All these cuts and scars

This incessant energy screaming through my bones

Bring me multitudes and more and we’ll ask of each

Can I play my drum for you?

Can I sing to you tonight?

We/re a small army. We’re still growing.

How man people can we feed?

Feast in the famine.

Praise in perdition.

These roads are ours to swallow through

This endless pit and patter

These spiraling breaths that unlock doors to the secret places in my chest

Pain is the only thing that could ever save us

But of darkness and her rabbit holes of dreaming, we reject your tepid fear in favor of a faith more profound and prolific

FEAR TAKES NO DISCIPLINE

This suffering is laughable.

I am an ant to the mountains of men who have fallen before me.

But if just once I can wake up. If just once I can run. If just once I can serve my people. If just once I can be peace in the midst of war.

Then all I ask is to sleep well tonight. To dream of our children sweetly tending the garden. To dream of our world in peace.

And to wake again. Ready to run. Ready to serve. And ready be on fire for a freezing city.